10 Aug 2011

this is getting kind of ridiculous

From: New York Kids Club 
Date: Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 2:01 PM
Subject: PJ Party and Friday Fun This Week!


Dinosaur245x289


T
ime Travel PJ Party
Thursday,August 11th

6:00-8:00 PM


Children will experience the past through a fun adventure in the gym searching for
dinosaur eggs, climbing volcanoes, and hiding from T-Rex! They will then travel to the future to play games on Mars, make their own aliens and robots and have a futuristic disco dance party on the moon!  Dinner is provided!

This event is for children 2.5-8 years old, and it is drop off!!

___________________________________ 

Friday Fun For Everyone

Friday, August 12th
3:30-5:30pm

This Friday Fun for Everyone event is an exciting opportunity

for families to come together for a fun, social, and enriching experience.

This event will include an hour of open play in our

state-of-the-art gym facility and a half hour musical performance by our special performer!

 

Chris_blisset

 

 

This event is for children 6 months-6 years old, and one adult is required to participate with the child during the full length of the event.

 

Each event is $40.00 or two special event passes for the first child and

$20.00 or one special event pass for each additional sibling. 

 

New York Kids Club


----

dear mary in ny,

well, i contacted ny kids club myself to ask them to remove me from their mailing list.  but as you can see, they still have not gotten the message.  as enticing as volcano climbing, dinosaur egg-hunting, and a romp through mars sounds, i really would like to not be notified of such future exciting opportunities.  

so i am making another plea to you to help me out here.  only you can prevent unsolicited emails. and forest fires.

sincerely,
mary
8 Aug 2011

wtf

From: trisonic

Date: 2011/7/22
Subject: 07-23-11(星期六) 9:00am,做義工的殊勝
To:  Mary
  請大家準時, ~ 讓我們一起融入法海 ~ 努力跟上文殊行 ~   


07-23  
星期六  

義工培訓(做義工的殊勝)  : 07-23-11(星期六) 9:00am 

請大家準時, ~ 讓我們一起融入法海 ~ 努力跟上文殊行 ~

 

----
dear chinese mary,
i do not understand.
sincerely,
mary

***
dear google translate,
see above.
sincerely,
mary
ps. also see below.
Thanks_google
8 Aug 2011

taman nosoob

From: Connie
Date: Sun, Aug 7, 2011 at 9:37 PM
Subject: Taman Nosoob
To: mary

Hi, Mary,
 
Attached some photos of Taman Nosoob for your perusal. Thank you and have a blessed day.

-----
dear malaysian* mary,
the backyard garden (last photo) is probably my favorite of the bunch.

sincerely,
mary

*my apologies if you are not actually malaysian. that is where the internets tells me taman nosoob is located, so i just assumed you were malaysian. 

(download)

8 Aug 2011

happy birthday

From: customers@nykidsclub
Date: Sat, Aug 6, 2011 at 10:16 PM
Subject: Birthday Coming Up?
To: mary


Dear Mary,

Nathan's birthday is just two months away. Celebrate with us!

Check out our:Themes Packages Availability/Pricing

"Fabulous Party! Seamless process. We are going to book for our older son!" ~ Stephanie H.

Call or log on to nykidsclub.com today. Let's get this party started!

nykidsclub.com

 
 

 

dear mary in ny,
well, it looks like you haven't had a chance to talk to the folks at nykidsclub yet about removing my email address.  you must be busy planning nathan's birthday party.  maybe after that? here's to hoping.

sincerely,
mary

ps. please wish nathan a happy birthday for me. in 2 months of course.  if you are still shopping for ideas, might i suggest a panda-themed party? i think that would be pretty awesome.  
4 Aug 2011

happy silva new year (from the email archives)

From: Gun-Britt
Date: 2011/1/25
Subject: Silvakurs
To: mary


Hej på er alla silvaintresserade

Så har vi ett nytt år igen. Får önska er alla en God Fortsättning på 2011

Nu har jag fått alla datum vad gäller Silvakurs- info mm denna vår 2011


Silva informationskväll har vi den 6.4 kl.19.00 ifall ni har någon som vill komma och lyssna.

Silvakursen går av stapeln den 7 och 8 maj  kl. 09.00 - 20.00

Silva Special  för alla som gått Silvakursen tidigare har vi den 5.4 kl18.30

Platsen för alla sammankomster är Ibis Hotel  här på Trädgårdsgatan 31-33  i Sundsvall

Har ni fler frågor så bara maila mej  eller ring 060-xxxxxx  mob. 070 xxxxxxx


Silvahälsningar och -kramar
Gun-Britt

-----

dear swedish mary,

thanks to my trusty friend google translate i now know that your pal gun-britt wishes you a happy new year in 2011 and wants you to come listen to a course.  about silva.  now i'm not quite sure what this silva business is but gun-britt seems to mention it a lot and he or she sends you silva greetings and hugs.  

silva greetings and hugs,
mary
4 Aug 2011

growing bodies and inquisitive minds


 
           kids classes  |   preschool learning  |   day camps  |  birthday parties |  pj parties |  friday fun  |   gift certificates

Nathan has been enrolled in a makeup class for the following Rock-a-Baby Music Class session:

Tue Aug 9 10:30 AM.

Please note: We allow two make-up classes per semester. Should you need to cancel a scheduled make-up class, you must cancel no later than 8am the day of your scheduled make up. Should you choose not to attend your scheduled make up class, and fail to cancel your reservation by 8am the day of, you will forfeit that make up class.

Please do not reply to this email. Contact your location directly with any questions.

                                                                           http://www.nykidsclub.com

-----

dear mary in ny,

just wanted to make sure you don't forget about nathan's makeup class.  it would be a shame if he had to forfeit his rock-a-baby music time. 

also, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, please tell these people to take me off their mailing list.  i tried replying to the email to do so myself but it bounced. (i know. it says "Please do not reply to this email." fine. i get it.)  

thanks!

sincerely,
mary
3 Aug 2011

thanks mom

well, it's time to finally post a few more of these emails that get sent to my email account by mistake.  i've been filing them away in my email starring them in my inbox (who are we kidding, i am incapable of filing my email) and it looks like today's the day to share them with you, my loyal readers (all 2 of you!).

this one comes from myna's iphone.  no subject, no body text. just a pic of her home screen.

Photo

that's nice.

i did a search for other messages this person has sent me, and it turns out she thinks i am her daughter/tech support. 

Myna
hi mary whose mom myna has an iphone with a homescreen featuring olives and a fly at a bar,

your mom sounds a lot like mine! perhaps you could teach her how to delete my email address from her iphone and replace it with your own.

thanks!!

sincerely,

mary

 

18 Nov 2010

your baby pei pei

Letter
(this is a letter i received awhile ago to my email account, attached as a pdf.)

dear mary in rockville, md, 

please stop writing bad checks and giving out my email address as your own. that's not nice. i hope pei pei is doing better after his? her? visit to the vet.

thank you.

sincerely,

mary

mary's Space

blah blah blah